When the heck did it become February…..and yes, I realize February is almost over too. Perhaps I should just call this one ‘where the heck has the year gone?’ instead.
When we found out we were pregnant on January 1st, I had no idea how MUCH pregnancy would really affect EVERYTHING. I mean, obviously, I knew things would change and my body would change, but I really had no idea of the overwhelming emotional, physical and psychological effects that would happen so soon. I seriously don’t even remember January. I found texts and messages from friends back in early January that I don’t remember reading much less responding too. I have a list of things I said I would do for people, or get back to them, that I never did or even thought about again. All I can remember of January is that I found out I was pregnant, I went to real estate school, I was crazy sick and miserable and somehow, through the grace of God, I passed real estate school. And if I didn’t have the completion certificate and license to prove a few of things, I may not remember or believe they happened either.
I always swore I didn’t want to be ‘one of those people’ who bitched and complained their whole pregnancy. I wanted to enjoy it and revel in it and be thankful for what was finally happening. But seriously, then I actually got pregnant and realized this is NO FREAKIN’ JOKE and I am going to whine and complain if I want to! NO ONE prepared me for how crappy I was really going to feel. Even seeing my pregnant friends have morning sickness, vomit and then go on with their day somehow made this seem ‘easy’ or at least less inconvenient. It is NOT EASY or FUN or even pleasant!
If you scroll through a pregnancy book and see a list of symptoms during the first trimester, you will have the checklist of everything I have dealt with the past two months. Nausea. Extreme exhaustion. Constipation. Leg cramps. Stomach cramps. Breast growth and pain and soreness. Oh, and did I mention emotional as a 16-year old going through a break-up with PMS?!?! I mean, it’s a text book pregnancy and I don’t know if I mean that in a good way! No one ever told me my poor boobies would feel like knives were piercing them. Or that I would go 5 days with out going poop and feel as though my insides were going to pop. Or that I would randomly get leg cramps that would wake me from a dead sleep. Or that if my husband even thought about touching my chest, I would slap him. Or that I could seriously sleep 10 hours each night AND still need a 3 hour nap every afternoon. Or that EVERYTHING I attempted to cook would make me gag; nothing would taste good to eat; my body would reject my favorite foods; or that I could live on PB&J and water.
And I have only made it to week 11.
I want to say that I am HAPPY I am pregnant – we have tried for this baby for more than two years, BUT I also want to say that I never knew it would be this hard. Pregnant ladies – it is ok to tell the truth!! It is ok to be real about pregnancy. It is ok to NOT enjoy these EPIC changes happening to our bodies and not being able to comprehend what may happen next. It doesn’t mean we love our babies less, it just means we are normal and honest and freaked the heck out.
Ok, I have to go take my 10 hour nighttime nap. And prepare for my new night time ritual. The newest symptom of the week hit two nights ago – round ligament pain. Yeah, it happens every night now, as soon as I try to get comfy on the couch or lie in bed. Imagine a knife slicing open your lower belly with a quick slicing motion. Scares you to death, hurts like hell and then just aches for an hour or so. But don’t worry, it’s a perfectly normal part of a text-book pregnancy!